Is divorce bad? We’ll see…

I read this story on my radio show “Kim Hess Divorce Guru yesterday to demonstrate that sometimes something we judge as “bad”may not necessarily be so: “There is a Taoist story of an old farmer who had worked his crops for many years. One day his horse ran away. Upon hearing the news, his neighbors came to visit. “Such bad luck,” they said sympathetically. “We’ll see,” the farmer replied. The next morning the horse returned, bringing with it three other wild horses. “How wonderful,” the neighbors exclaimed. “We’ll see,” replied the old man. The following day, his son tried to ride one of the untamed horses, was thrown, and broke his leg. The neighbors again came to offer their sympathy on his misfortune. “We’ll see,” answered the farmer. The day after, military officials came to the village to draft young men into the army. Seeing that the son’s leg was broken, they passed him by. The neighbors congratulated the farmer on how well things had turned out. “We’ll see” said the farmer. When I first read this story I thought of my divorce as the horse. Better yet, my husband was the horse! When I split with him I thought that was bad. Then the next thing I know I have a successful career (radio show host/writer), a support group, and doing what I love while helping others. I next find out that my ex is in a relationship with the woman he was with during our marriage. That was bad. Then I realize that I no longer have to put up with his ego and his behaviour. She does. That was good. Then I am in a constant struggle with my ex over the divorce, child custody, and money. That was bad. Through the struggle I’ve realized how strong I am. That’s good. My point is when something “bad” comes around just say “We’ll see…” You might be surprised how the “bad” turns into “good!”

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